By Marilyn Shannon
How many of you are faced with wanting to understand the ego in your life in terms of the healthy one and the other one which we sometimes call the unhealthy one. I use the term the other one just as a quick joke/metaphor like I am talking about the good person and the other one which I don’t really have a name for. I don’t think I am alone in referring to the ego almost as a person and two at that. It has a voice, a presence, a form, we listen to it, we give it a lot of credit to run our lives, we trust it sort of, we let it make suggestions, hold us back and confuse us and we also can learn to work with it, love ourselves because of its help, go out on a limb with it and fly to great heights because of its fearlessness. Sounds ambiguous doesn’t. Well it is. And it is a struggle.
I could go into the scientific, psychological terminology about Freud and say that Wikipedia says Ego is a Latin word meaning “I“, which derives from the Greek word “Εγώ (Ego)” meaning “I”, often used in English to mean the “self”, “identity” or other related concepts. Blah Blah Blah. I don’t mean to be sarcastic it just makes perfect sense to live the experience of ego as self and all it’s many sides as opposed to just taking on its definition.
Instead I would rather talk about it in our people terms, from our own experience. Do you ever feel as though it has a mask and multiple disguises?
It does and it has a split personality. Remember the good one and then the other one. And sometimes it is hard to tell them apart, which one is there and what is it’s message but please know that there really is only one ego self. The trick is to grow the ego self that builds you up and supports your freedom and is there for the good of all. So let’s say there is the small side of self (unhealthy ego) and the big side of self (healthy ego). Small side is fearful, big side open and free, loving others and ok with mistakes and not knowing everything. All about love.
Let’s take an ego test. You will find that the ego can be subtle and mischievous at times. And don’t worry so much about being judgmental, we need to examine certain behaviors and actions to understand ego. I am taking out the “the” from now on.
Here is a story for you, see what you think. It is a perfect story as we examine ego
Do you think Ron Johnson was in his ego? I know you don’t have all the info you might need to make a snap judgment but what do you think? Ok he might have been but then why would his ideas and his being out on a limb been more acceptable in a privately held company? So maybe he was in his “all about me side” or maybe the investors were in theirs instead. Up comes an issue of control which is exactly what ego looks like and how it sounds. It really is fascinating how this works. Here is another thought to process, are you in your ego when you are coming from your gut? I wouldn’t think so because when you are in your controlling fear “ego” you are in your head not your gut/heart/head all together, only head. The healthy ego is about balance between your head and your heart. In balance there is no attachment to an outcome or result and if you are in your gut you would be coming from your higher self and be able to let go of how something looks. So there are messages in this article I have to question.
Ok here is another story I would like you to ponder and see what you think.
Here is the rest of the story, Lauder donates this amazingly large collection and unlike other similar collections that are donated, he did not dictate how the collection would be displayed, he is leaving that up to the museum. So what are your thoughts here about ego? I would say that if he were in his ego and not his big side he would have.
Our ego’s job is to protect and keep us safe . As we grow and become conscious and enlightened we move more into our wholeness. The need to protect and hold us back dissipates. We stop listening to the fear that it dishes out, we stop giving the fear room to take us over. Now the small self-will come back from time to time and we can use it to help take us deeper, reminding us of our strengths and our cleverness, see how far we have some.
To have ego means to believe in your own strength. And to also be open to other people’s views. It is to be open, not closed. So, yes, my ego is big, but it’s also very small in some areas. My ego is responsible for my doing what I do – bad or good.
Being responsible 100% of the time is one way to get a handle on our ego. Take it on and not attached to mistakes and shame. Vulnerability, being humble, staying in gratitude as much as possible, and listening to your inner dialogue and knowing what is driving you in any one given situation will support the understanding that a strong sense of self. The fact is that there will always be ego struggles, always, that’s all part of life. As we stop running from it, stop resisting it, we will be at peace .